I know...My birthday transpired without much fanfare. Around 20 people greeted me through sms and some calls. At that time, I was at my girlfriend's home, hadn't slept a wink the night before.
Several years ago, I fancy dreaming of myself to be a highly successful individual by the time I'll reach 35. I will already be a top class executive, will have my own fancy car, white house with picket fence and a tiled, colored roof, starting a family perhaps with a stable career to boot. At 37, none of that has been realized. I couldn't even afford my dream Apple that I have been eyeing for months. Mundane realities occupy most of my waking time -- the need to work for a measly sum to earn a decent living. Life hasn't offer absolutes for me. I am just dancing with the rhythm of life's offerings that come my way. there are a lot of frustrations, of not being able to measure up to anyone's ideals, including my own... my own denial!
At 37, I have been through many episodes, left by people whom I thought will spend the rest of their lives with me in fantasy world, found frustrations over not getting the job that I want. Then there are plus points too, I found someone that I believed she is my missing part. I learned how to bolt out of a failed relationship. I found myself in a rat race, not really understanding what I am competing for and with whom. A reciprocated passionate love also came my way, which I could only hope will forever stay. Somehow, my mum constantly tells me that I am just doing good with whatever it is that I have right now. But I am racing against time, my step sister, included. My step sister assures me that nothing is wrong with me. but then again, how can other people say such a thing? Must I believe that I am fine? or must I believe anything at all?
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