Emails...

How many times a week does your inbox flood with mail, and yet you’re disappointed and feel like none of it is worthwhile?

I’ve noticed this happening more and more with the dozens of emails I receive every day. I eagerly scan the incoming subject lines and who they’re from, and more often than not, I sigh and lean back in my chair because it’s all junk. Maybe junk I opted in for, or junk that I am sort of interested in but just not in the mood for at the time. In any case, I find that they mostly fall into one of these 5 categories:

1. Spam, spam, spam. It’s not even creative anymore. And those phishing attempts? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. But the fact that people are still bothering means that there are a few suckers out there keeping the needle in a haystack method attractive for unscrupulous folk.

2. Newsletters. Most of the time there’s a sale announcement or a coupon from stores/companies/organizations for which I am a patron, which is fine. But after a few newsletters, I usually realize that the content is the same and the email’s only worth opening if I have a specific need to purchase something. I probably subscribe to too many newsletters, but I have just enough interest in their content or products to put up with frequent emails.

3. Boring. Bills, statements, order information, automated notifications or confirmations. All that business-y types of stuff that is relevant, but not usually exciting.

4. Semi-interesting. These are usually emails that seem interesting upon first glance, but turn out to be forwards, rickrolls, or misleading subject lines. Or from an email group that sometimes has useful or interesting content.

5. Good stuff. Personal email from acquaintances, friends, fans, and family. These are always the first ones I open (even if I’m a horrible slacker and don’t respond as quickly as I intend to).

I think my inbox apathy really mirrors the allure of personal snail mail; The best kind of mail to receive has a familiar return address and your name hand-written on the front.

When’s the last time you sent a handwritten letter to someone? I sealed up a letter to my teenage cousin a couple hours ago and will send it out tomorrow. It definitely takes more time, thought, and effort to write a letter the old-fashioned way… but as a recipient, that’s what I value the most.

My Personal Space

What is it about the inherent social-spatial lesson that I (and what seems like most people) understand that some people just don’t get?

You probably know what I’m talking about: when you enter a space that you must share with other members of the public, such as a foodcourt, you don’t sit down close to a stranger if there is a spot available at a “safe” distance, or one that is equidistant from other strangers. In a small room or on public transportation, it’s more acceptable to be in close proximity because there isn’t much space to begin with. But in a large room, it’s customary to allow for plenty of personal space and not crowd someone for no reason.

Right?

Next question: Wondering life in the moon?

Shit Life!

I have heard from so many people who complain about life and how shit is. Most in every single case the person who has been complaining has done absolutely nothing to change their life to make it less shit... so they are dumbed in stack of shit life then LOL!

Some people complained as a shit because they don’t have the money to do the things they want! There are literally hundreds of ways to make extra money, but ONLY if you are willing to work for it. I don’t mean work hard all day and all night I mean work smart and automate as much as possible so you are making money whilst you sleep.. how? use your shit imagination then *rite?*.

Or myself that always thinking that shit because I don’t have my ideal partner!

Again, I have thinking like this that I am giving all of my power away to an unknown entity, namely the person I think I should be with. But, rejunevate myself and try to do here is concentrate on being happy with myself before giving up part of the power to someone else. Heard from wise people that another piece of advice would be to concentrate on my strengths. Don’t waste time on minor weaknesses, concentrate on building up the things that I am already good at... which is complained Life is Shit!

Sometimes, that advice might be right, everybody might not like me and for one reason – I don’t like myself. There is no possible way people will like me until I truly like myself and if I am at this stage I have a lot of work to do on myself. Small steps – Every single journey I take in my life will begin with a small step and this is the same for changing my life. At this stage don’t think about the bigger picture, think about the small changes I want to make and work on them continuously and build up my repertoire until I am happy with myself.

I have to say if I am happy feeling like shit then there is obviously no need to make any changes... *rite?*

Next question: Any other shit in life?

F-word in Life

You’re trapped in a room for 3 days with your nasty ex, what do you do?
- Kill her dead.

You’re stuck on an elevator with the person you’ve fallen the hardest for, what happens?
- I rape them. Violently... dream on!

The celebrity you love the most offers to marry you, as long as you don’t talk to any of your current friends or family members anymore. Do you marry them?
- I’d probably consider it for about 10 seconds then politely decline and try to talk them around into marrying me anyways.

Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
- Tell them to leave. Get out. Go. Never darken my door again.

If you ever want live to see another day, you’re forced to snort cocaine. Do you do it?
- Err, yeah. But knowing my luck I’d have a heart attack and die thanks to the coke.

If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?
- Yeah def….& I’d kill Jigsaw too, cos’ I’m F-wordin’ badass.

When is the last time you were in a photobooth taking pictures with friend?
- When I was very very young.

Who’s the last person you had a sleepover with?
- Me and myself.

Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided seeing them?
- I do it all the time.

Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can’t even stand it?
- Yes, and no matter how many times I tell them to not talk to me, they insist on doing so.

On average, what do you think you cry about the most?
- In general, nothing. Lately, my dad.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?
- Yes.

Who was the last guy you talked to?
- Andy the fat boy... my friend

Do you think best friends can be replaced?
- No.

Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot?
- Yes

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
- Kinda, I’d rather they didn’t.

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone’s life?
- I like to think I have, probably not though.

Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to?
- Quite a few.

What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
- Nothing, anymore.

What friend do you tell the most?
- These questions lack all the basic fundamentals of correct Grammar.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
- My mum

Wheres the weirdest place you’ve changed clothes?
- In the middle of the street… moronic question

Are you going anywhere next summer?
- Yes.

Are you waiting for anyone to call right now?
- Noooooope.

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
- Nope, more like I want her ass on a spike.

Are you shy?
- Nope.

Are you talkative?
- When I want to be.

Do you secretly like someone?
- Secretly? I think it’s pretty obvious.

Do you announce when you have to pee?
- Yep, just to make other people feel uncomfortable.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
- My mum…..running theme here.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- I am the master.

How is life going for you right now?
- Pretty shit.

Do you trust people easily?
- I trust NO ONE.

Do you give out second chances easily?
- Nope.

Do you smile a lot?
- Depends. I don’t walk around with a big cheesy grin on my face if thats what you mean.

One thing you’re looking forward to?
- Sleeping tonight.

How do you feel about change?
- Change is good. I love Change.

Have you ever cried from being so mad?
- Yup. Lots and lots and lots.

Last time you got a text message and smiled?
- About a minute ago,

Have you ever made anyone laugh when they were crying?
- Tut, course I have. I’m hilarious.

Are you happy?
- Not really,

Will you kiss the person you last kissed again?
- Yes. With a F-wording baseball bat.

Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
- Yes, once…and once only.

Do you prefer to be around people, or by yourself?
- Depends who it is. Most people annoy the hell out of me.

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
- Probably not.

First person to text today?
- My friend….quelle suprise

The person you’re in love with moves across the world, what do you do?
- Move with them.

Any other ‘F-wording question’?

About Perception and Reality

Well, I copied this note from my old blog -- (March 2009) This early morning, I dig considering what our collective thought energy can create. It’s the type of thing that’s worth contemplation free of that very energy.

I’m no better or worse than anyone else. I’m not interested in being right making anyone else wrong or vice versa.

One of the manifestations of that thought energy is the saying: Perception is reality. If you are reading this I’m not suggesting that you subscribe to this. We’d probably agree, however, that regardless of your subscriber status, said publication is doing very well in terms of circulation!

Perception, for me, is the way I’m viewed by everyone other than me, usually decided by actions, deeds, thoughts, etc. to them or anyone else.

For me, energy invested into shifting perceptions of me is fruitless. However, to myopically walk on my path without listening or observing is just the opposite (meaning I’m investing energy into NOT shifting others perceptions…oy) is just as fruitless.

In either of the above cases, I have decided to become a subscriber to my reality being driven by what I call perception.

Everything is always changing, including the way people think about and do things that they encounter in their lives often in the context of what they already have experienced. And nothing is more tiring to consider than having to consider how to appear loving based on what loving means at that period of time. It doesn’t mean that I don’t educate myself I just don’t educate myself on what others consider to be ok based on what’s out there for them.

What that adds up to for me is I am attentive to my body when I am speaking with anyone. If I tense up based on what they are saying or doing, it’s a good sign that I have to consider why I feel disconnected from my source.

The first time I look to them in any way to help my shoulders relax, I’m in trouble. Now, I’ve created a relationship where I look to them for the approval that deceptively feels connecting. In addition I’ve created a future that will have that issue be egg shell city.

I am independent of the opinion of others about me. It doesn’t mean that I don’t listen….well I should say it doesn’t mean that I eventually won’t listen (yes, sometimes that sneaky ego gets in the way)….it just means that I won’t that I won’t be held hostage by what they are saying by defending myself or creating a plan that will demonstrate to them that I now am what they believe I should be.

I will try to explain what I do or say in different ways as well as share my intention.

I am blessed because I know that inside of that I am sharing my truth. My truth has no need to fret about matching up with a reality based on the perceptions of someone whose truth I’ll never know and who will never know mine.

Ironically, our truths can connect…when our minds are silent in space and we are attentive, or suppose when we die and are, I guess, with our arm lights around each other’s shoulders laughing hysterically in the universe chatting about the one time when we got in this big dispute that ultimately means nothing….that sounds like a cool reality to me.

Next question: Who am I?

Tweets!

Now, Online is a King! Do you have ANY idea how many hidden money making ideas are in our twitter?! I have heard a entire slew of expert talk about not following back on twitter. That without a doubt in my mind to be one of the dumbest things I have heard of on twitter. So wait everyone should follow us and then we follow back our special “chosen ones”, rite? And the past excuse was “oh I can’t read that many tweets hard to follow” yeah right like they can’t aggregate with Tweetdeck and Hootsuite available to say the least.

And now they really have no excuse. Because with the invention of lists on twitter you can’t complain any longer. The excuses are officially over for those so called leaders of twitter. So here is where the money making ideas part comes in because these same entrepreneurs are always trying to sell our ways to make money while stepping over the most significant online business ideas of the decade!

Anyway...twitter allows me to find out what my customers want without directly asking them. No other social media as I write this has that advantage. Just sit there and watch your twitter stream I almost guarantee you, you will see some money making ideas just from watching.

Next question: follow me @aboediman :)

Letter to My Boss

Dear Friends,

I just want to share something about "What Makes a Good Boss?". Well, a lot of wise people says that there are some attributes for the best boss:
- Fair - Honest - Understanding - Approachable - A good communicator

And we are bosses of our own life (for sure)... anyway... but how to dealing positively with a "bad" boss that can bring unexpected benefits --
Current Case:
For sure - I'm only a guardian dog in small group of smart people, and I try to lead this smart people in my department. I've read a book about "Plain Talk About Leadership", and I wish my boss would read this as well. He's a terror and has absolutely no people skills. He rules with threats and intimidation. Everybody has the feeling that any one of us would be stabbed in the back if the company would benefit in some way. Even if we're able to tolerate this ongoing browbeating, we fear that we'll, be caught in the next round of layoffs.

People in my department are more productive and happier than most in the company (I think), but the horrible environment around us tends to overshadow everything I do. I have begun to question whether a 'people approach' to leadership is realistic in today's dog-eat-dog corporate world.

It seems that each week our company becomes more and more numbers focused and less and less people oriented. We've lost many good people because of this hostile atmosphere. I've considered leaving myself but haven't done so because of my team and passion of this industry. As you can imagine, morale is horrible.
What can one lowly guardian dog like me do to lead in a positive manner in a company that doesn't care about its people? Anybody can help me out?

Heart to heart:
Well after reflecting in the mirror -- I have also some answers for above case....
It may be of little consolation, but above case indicate that I am only one of many who experience this type of work environment. The most important point for me to remember is: It's not me! It's not my behavior that is causing my boss to fuss and fume. It is simply a style of leadership, an approach that's unlikely to change, even if he or she reads above statement about "What Makes a Good Boss?". This intimidating form of leadership somehow has brought this person to a senior management level, so why change?

Throughout my career that I will have many bosses-some good, some bad. Most people tell me, and my own experience confirms it, that during my career, I'll have more bad bosses than good ones. But somehow, I can learn from all of them. Everyone has leadership traits that I may wish to emulate-and leadership traits that I will want to avoid.

Again, when I am forced to deal with my boss's angry outbursts, don't become emotionally involved. I just simply remember, it's not me. Imagine that I am watching a TV movie. Listen carefully to the message. Watch the ways the character gets the message across. The threats and intimidation don't matter. It's just a movie-only this one I can't turn off. Some movie characters I like; some I don't like. But all of them make life interesting. And being exposed to such characters in real life helps strengthen us to endure the day-to-day challenges that all of us face.

Once I understand the situation, I am learning to carry out the instructions in my own way. Use the friendly, communicative, enthusiastic leadership style that I often discuss among team. Chances are that the people who report to me know what I am going through. I think - they'll appreciate my running interference for them and will be especially responsive to my novice leadership skill.

Message for this:
Chances are that your boss won't be your boss forever. He or she may retire, may be fired by the board because of his or her offensive treatment of people or, who knows, may be promoted. With excellent leadership skills, the new "big boss" could be you. Certainly if conditions are so distasteful that you can't endure another day on the job, you may wish to make a job change, but be very cautious. The odds are about seven out of ten that your new "big boss" will be as bad as the old one.

I agree that the fear of layoffs has an. adverse effect on people. While necessary in a few instances (if a company can't meet its Friday payroll, there may be no choice), in most cases layoffs weaken companies. When a layoff is threatened, many employees brush off their resumes. Some will initiate an active job search even before they know whether or not they will be affected. If opportunities arise, many jump ship. The ones who don't move are so paralyzed that they can't give their full attention to serving customers. Productivity almost certainly slows as morale begins to freefall.

Again - be your own boss and motivate yourself!